A family guide to autism and getting the right support in early childhood settings

Starting and attending childcare services is a big milestone for any family. If you are noticing some differences in your child's development or your child has just received a diagnosis, you probably have a million questions and don't know where to start.

We spoke with Mel Scaiffe, an early childhood professional with over 30 years’ experience, about what families can expect, what to ask, and how to get the best support for your child.

Watch the full conversation here: Daycare with confidence webinar

On this page

• First steps if you suspect your child is autistic
  
  
• Do you need a diagnosis to get support?
  
  
• How to talk to your child’s daycare or preschool educators
  
  
• What good support looks like in early learning
  
  
• Funding and inclusion support options
  
  
• Preparing your autistic child for school
  
  
• Choosing the right daycare or preschool
  
  
• Questions to ask when visiting a service
  
  
• FAQs

First things first: breathe

When you first hear that your child might be autistic, it's natural to want to do everything immediately. But rushing to book every therapy available all at once can actually do more harm than good.

Start by sitting down with your child's early childhood educators. They see your child every day, in lots of different situations: transitions, group play, and mealtimes. They notice patterns that can be really hard to spot at home, especially if this is your first child.

Your child's daycare or preschool should be a support network for your whole family.

You don't need an autism diagnosis to get support

Here's something many families don't know: your child doesn't need a formal diagnosis to receive extra support at their daycare or preschool.

Good early childhood services build in supports that help every child: quiet corners, sensory toys, visual schedules, and flexible routines. These tools benefit all kids, not just those with a diagnosis.

So don't wait. Talk to your educators now.

How to start the conversation (even when you don't know what to say)

You don't need to have all the answers before you talk to your child's educators. Just be honest. Tell them what you're seeing at home, what's tricky for your child, and what you're worried about.

A good childcare service will work with you to help your child. Look for educators who want to build a plan together with you.

A great daycare or preschool will:

• Listen without judgment
• Share what they're seeing
• Connect you with the right people when it's time
• Work with therapists to keep everyone on the same page

Getting a diagnosis: where do you go next?

If educators or your own instincts tell you something needs investigating, the next step is to book a GP appointment. From there, you might be referred to a paediatrician, speech therapist, occupational therapist (OT), or other specialist.

One of the most important things you can do is make sure everyone talks to each other. That means your child's speech therapist, OT, and educators all need to know what goals you're working on and be working on them together.

If your child's therapists don't communicate with each other or with the early childhood setting, you can end up pulling in different directions. That's confusing for your child, and stressful for you.

Ask every new therapist: Are you happy to communicate directly with my child's early childhood educators?

What good support looks like in a daycare or preschool

When your child is in care, here's what a supportive environment should include:

Visual supports: Pictures and schedules that show your child what's coming next. These help with anxiety, transitions, and communication. Many children use them even before they can read or speak confidently.

Sensory tools: weighted toys, fidgets, noise-cancelling headphones, and calm corners. These aren't just for kids with autism; they help all children self-regulate.

Flexible routines: If mealtimes or transitions are hard, educators can adapt. For example, your child might go to lunch a little later with a small group of friends, so the change feels less abrupt.

A relationship with one or two key educators: Feeling safe starts with trust. Extra orientation visits at the start can help your child build that trust before you step back.

What about funding?

If your child has an autism diagnosis, you may be able to access funding that brings extra support at daycare or preschool. But there's a common misconception worth clearing up.

In early childhood settings, funded support doesn't mean a one-on-one aide dedicated only to your child. Instead, an extra educator joins the classroom to support the whole group, which means your child still feels like part of the class, not singled out.

This approach is enormously effective for children at this age. Your child gets more support without feeling different from their peers.

To explore funding options, contact your early childhood service and ask about available support programs. You can also find Inclusion Support Guidelines on the Australian Government Department of Education website.

Preparing for school: start earlier than you think

If your child is going to start school soon, now is the time to start preparing, even if it feels too early.

But here's the key: school readiness isn't about knowing the alphabet or counting to 100. It's about social and emotional development. Can your child ask for help? Do they feel safe with other adults? Can they handle transitions? Are they able to manage their toileting and personal hygiene?

If those foundations aren't in place, learning becomes much harder, no matter how many letters they know.

Work with your daycare or preschool now to build those skills. It will make the biggest difference when they walk through the school gates.

Is this the right daycare or preschool for your autistic child?

In Australia, there are several types of early childhood services to choose from. Child care centres (also called long day care/daycare) offer full-day or part-day care, while family day care is a smaller, home-based option that can feel less overwhelming for some children. Community and government preschools run a planned education program to prepare kids for primary school. It's worth visiting a few to see which environment suits your child best. 

Not every centre will be the right fit, and that's okay. A huge, busy daycare centre might be too overwhelming for some children, while a small family daycare might be perfect.

Trust your gut. And if a service isn't willing to work with you, keep looking.

Signs you've found a good fit:

• They welcome the conversation, even if they don't have all the answers
• They ask what works at home and try it in the classroom
• They celebrate small wins with you
• They talk openly about what they're seeing, even the hard stuff

Celebrate the wins

Children on the spectrum bring something genuinely wonderful to their classrooms and communities. Their special interests, their unique ways of seeing the world, their focus and passion: these are gifts.

When you're in the thick of it, hold onto the small moments. The day they walk into the centre without tears. The moment another child grabs the headphones for their friend without being asked. Those moments are everything.

Questions to ask

If you're visiting a new daycare or preschool:

• "What's your approach to inclusion and diversity? How do you support children with different needs?"
• "If my child receives a diagnosis, what does support actually look like day-to-day in your setting?"
• "Are your educators willing to communicate directly with my child's therapists?"
• "How do you handle transitions and big emotions? What strategies do you use?"
• "Can we do extra orientation visits before my child starts, to help them settle in gradually?"

If your child is already at a daycare or preschool and has just been diagnosed with autism:

• "Can we sit down together and make a plan now that we have a diagnosis?"
• "What are you already seeing in the classroom, and what strategies have been working?"
• "Are you open to connecting with my child's speech therapist or OT so everyone's working toward the same goals?"
• "What funding or extra support can we apply for, and can you help us with that process?"
• "How will you let me know if things change — what does day-to-day communication look like?"

Early childhood educators: want to learn more? Check out our free online course, Navigating Autism: The Early Years, built especially for you. Over 23,000 educators have already enrolled.

FAQs: Autism and Early Childhood Education

Does my child need an autism diagnosis to get support at daycare or preschool?

No. Many early childhood services can implement inclusive strategies such as visual schedules, sensory supports and flexible routines without a formal diagnosis.

What support should a daycare provide for an autistic child?

Support may include visual supports, sensory tools, flexible transitions, small group support and strong communication between educators and therapists.

Is funding for autistic children at daycare a one-on-one aide?

Not usually. Funding often provides an additional educator to support the whole classroom, keeping children included rather than singled out.

How do I know if a preschool is the right fit for my autistic child?

Look for openness, flexibility, willingness to collaborate with therapists, and a genuine commitment to inclusion.

When should I start preparing my autistic child for school?

Earlier than you think. Focus on emotional regulation, communication skills, and transition readiness rather than academic skills.

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